“Look that cloud is an elephant,” I said. “No that’s a tree,” my dad narrated. “Don’t go too far,” mum shouted. But I was lost in a land of daydream and didn’t notice that there was only half a bridge. Splash! The world suddenly was all blue. I swim to the surface and gulp for some air. “Are you ok,” shouted my horrified mother. “Why would they make half a bridge that’s just” my words stopped. I felt something hit my leg. Then a fin rose from the depths. Help shark shark I scream. The fin submerged then it …………………………..
Rhiannon
That was a great paragraph. How did you come up with that? What happens after that? I am so curious.
That was a really good part and I love how you made your reader curious. It was all so shocking and unexpected.
Nice, you left me curious and I want to read more. The way your mom and family reacted was amazing but scary.
So good keep writing. Also, your story got me curious.
That was really exciting. That made me want to keep reading. I wonder what will happen next.