SCREECH went the noisy car as I slammed on the brakes. The bridge is half gone. I look around, the Eiffel Tower is half missing too. The land is rapidly disappearing right in front of my eyes. There goes a big green pine tree. At this rate the country will be gone in a short time. Oh no, the other side of the bridge is gone too. The next thing to go is the part of the bridge I am on. But before I can say anything I am floating down the river heading right for huge scary rushing rapids.
By Mac
It was great. I loved it, I felt like I was in the story.
Hello Mac,
I’m a little late by Australian time getting to my 100WC reading, but it is Sunday evening here, so I hope you will forgive me.
What a clever, creative take on the photo! I particularly liked how your writing went from the narrator worrying about the bridge section disappearing to floating in the river. Phrases such as “rapidly disappearing” and “huge, scary, rushing rapids” make the story vivid for your audience.
Keep up your writing!
Tracey
Team 100WC
San José, California, US
What a great ideas Mac. You have used the prompt well. You are working hard with speech marks and remembering to use them around the words which are being spoken only. I also like the word ‘screech’, I am planning on sharing your work with my class.
Keep up your writing.