7 Steps to Writing Success

The Painting

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The golden maned animal hung upon the old brick wall. The antique frame that wrapped around him exploded with crystal light. Suddenly a drum starts playing. As I look closely at the painting, the lion danced towards the face of the canvas. I meet him at the edge. His furry paw stretches out snatching a cornflake from my bowl. His crunching makes a piercing sound which echoes through my eardrums. His sticky paw returns, searching for more. A wet black nose came out next, sniffing cautiously. Before I knew it, he stood grandly in front of me. What was this exciting circumstance going to bring?

Zanna

Show, Don’t Tell

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5SK have worked on ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ this week from Seven Steps to Writing Success. They were challenged to ‘show’ a scene or character trait rather than telling the reader.

RAIN

Cold breeze hits me like smoke from a fire. I walk outside and everything is wet. Big dark clouds cover the sun like a dome trapping us. When will it end?
Connor

DESERT

“Please, HELP ME!” I yell. The hot, red, arid sand burning my feet. I’m hungry, hot, lonely and the only thing I can taste is the dirt ricocheting in and out of my teeth. I imagine I hear rushing water but I know I’m just daydreaming. I have flashbacks of my dear sister Layla, my beloved mother Bethany and my dear dad Tom. I faint face down in the dirt.
Jemma

FISHING

I’m out at the reef on a perfect day. Suddenly my rod bends right. I rush to pick it up. It is a big one. I wind it in as hard as I can. I see glimmers of silver. But the line snaps.
Mack

WORLD TEACHERS DAY

The smell of the freshly made coconut ice is wafting through the house “YUM” I think to myself. It’s all going away to my teacher, I’m regretting my decision now. I carefully wrap it up in nice clear cellophane and tie a beautiful, rose pink ribbon around it. I get into the car and we approach the school. I feel excitement running through my blood then I get shivers of fear running down my spine. “What if she doesn’t like it,” I think. I hop out of the car. I get to the school gate, turn and wave to my mum and then my shoelace gets caught around the wire. I fall, the coconut ice plummets to the ground. “Why me?”
Jemma

”Surprise!” as the class jumps out giving the teacher a fright. We all hand our presents to the teacher and it’s almost like an avalanche of flowers and chocolate. The teacher’s smile lifts up like a huge banana. She won’t be able to walk by tomorrow.
Grace

CHARLIE – PRINCIPAL FOR THE DAY

The phone rings. It’s for me. I need to go to the principal. The sweat ran down my face as butterflies filled my stomach. The principal wasn’t there. I nervously sat down. The principal walks in, as soon as I see his face I know it’s Charlie. I let out such a scream it shatters the fish tank. I run as fast as I can. Charlie follows with his whip. Running was a big mistake.
Rhiannon

SWIMMING CARNIVAL

Splash went the chlorine filled water. I got ready for my race, I put my goggles on and BANG! I fly through the water doing butterfly. My class is cheering for me. I start to get lower and lower and thoughts filled my mind.

What’s going on?
Grace

Tightening Tension

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Scenario 2 – The car you are travelling in through the African Nature Reserve suddenly stops. An elephant stands directly in your path.

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List all the things you can:

See –

Hear –

Touch –

Smell –

Taste –

Feel (emotions) –

Stomp! I quickly look up to see a giant raging elephant stomping around my small car. The smell of sweat dripping down my face is unbearable. I panic as I try to accelerate. (Failing engine noise) I’m done!

Tristan

Wooff! The elephant comes closer and he is not happy. He is coming alone. I have no phone, the car’s dead. I get out of the car and run until I stop with fear. What am I going to do?

Rohan

 

Smoke starts to fill the air. On no my car has stopped. I can’t find my phone and worst of all there is a huge angry elephant in front of me. She starts to rock the car and stops and stares with her little black beady eyes. She has a baby. It sounds a stress signal. The father starts to run. I pushed the pedals as hard as I can. It’s not working.

Rhiannon

 

My car stops, smoke pouring out of the engine. A dark figure stampeding towards me. This is it, I think under my breath. It stops and stares at me with it’s ferociously angry eyes. Its tusks getting closer to me every second. I wind up my window, lock the door and climb into the back seat. Will this be my last destination?

Jemma

 

Explode! My engines dead. I’m staring into the eyes of a beastly angry elephant. My heart panics. I lock the doors, wind the windows up as fast as I can. As I open the door the elephant starts stomping like Godzilla. I quickly and quietly slam the door on my arm. Aaaaaaarrrgh! As I struggle, I turn the keys and keep on slamming the accelerator. It turns. Yahoo! I’m too loud and the beast comes towards me and flips the car which starts an explosion. Will I survive?

Grace

 

The smoke blocks my nose. An elephant blocks my path. Bowen screams as the car tips on its side. I’m frozen with fear as the elephant flattens the bonnet.  I take a breath.

Kayah

 

Stomp! Stomp! All I see is a big grey elephant panting. I tried to turn the mini car on but the engine died. Fear was trembling around me. Why me!

Alexanda

 

Tightening Tension – Seven Steps to Writing Success

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5SK created fantastic tightening tension paragraphs today using Seven Steps to Writing Success by Jen McVeity.

Scenario: You are in a sinking boat out at the reef with deadly sharks circling.

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Step 1: Brainstorm words and phrases for (1 minute per sense):

See –

Hear –

Touch –

Taste –

Smell –

Feel  –

Step 2: Write paragraph starting at a point of action (5 minutes)

Here are some of the wonderful examples produced by 5SK.

My feet are cold and drenched. I’m sweating like anything. Unfortunately sinking is the least of my problems as big figures are circling around me with jaws big enough to eat me whole. I’m desperately trying to start the motor with a terrified look on my face. I keep trying but it doesn’t start. Is this it?

Jemma

‘There is a hole in the boat’, I shout as sharks start circling. I madly shovel the water out, it’s not working. The sharks’ jaws start clamping down. I can feel my lunch coming up. The sweat starts to pour from my head and into my mouth. I am so terrified I scream. I can hear the rushing water coming into the boat. ‘Help’, I shout but no one answers my call.

Rhiannon