Yes! It’s my birthday the day has finally arrived. As I open my bedroom door I see a piece of paper float down as elegantly as a butterfly. I go to pick it up wondering what it could mean. It was a map and at the end a big, red cross. Ideas of what it could be start flying about in my head. I follow the maps directions carefully, only to end up at the place I started, but not at my bedroom door, but in front of my cupboard.When I opened the cupboard door… There in front of me was a big, beautifully wrapped birthday present.
Jemma
Hi Lochlainn,
Thank you for commenting on my 100wc. My present was a bike. It was pink, white and black.
A really wonderful 100wc! I really like it because it had description and I really like the simile paper float down as elegantly as a butterfly. I could imagine a butterfly floating down.. This 100wc is really good and I love it! Well Done 🙂
Nikola
I love it. I wonder what it could be. Is it a bike? please reply Lochlainn :)=amazing
I like your description that you have used like ‘as elegantly as a butterfly’ because it is telling you how the paper was floating like. I also like how you have not said what the present was and you have also described how the present was wrapped.
Well done 🙂
Well done Jemma, I enjoyed your 100WC. I agree, the image of the paper floating through your door was very effective. What an exciting way to find a birthday present! Keep up the good work 🙂
Jemma I really like your description of how the paper floated down – a good use of figurative language. I wonder what the present you got for your birthday was, hopefully something really nice. My school has also just started to enter the 100 word challenge – let’s all keep writing!
Mrs Williams
Merrydale Junior School, Leicester, UK